This is the hardest post I’ve ever written.

Yesterday was my very first DNF, it was the hardest decision I have had to make, but it was the right one. I want to be able to run for a long time and it’s better to take care of my body rather than push it beyond its limits.

Pre race, the start/finish line…I only crossed it once

The Brewers Mini was my 10th out of 13 half marathons for the year, I was really looking forward to this race, I did the race last year and had an ok time, the weather sucked last year but was perfect this year. This year I also knew lots and lots of people running, but all week I had doubts as to if I would even run. So when race day came I almost didn’t even go. I knew my leg was not 100%, and I knew I could push through but did I want to! would it be fun… The big answer was no. So race morning I got up, got ready and headed to Miller Park. I felt pretty good but my confidence was at an all time low. Mentally my head was not in this one. So I figured just take it one mile at a time and see how I felt. The first mile was tough, my leg hurt and pain shot up to my butt. I kept going, I would run/walk but I could feel my leg hurting. I met up with Tricia and thought maybe if I stayed by her I could do it, slow my pace and just finish, but as aid tent #2 got closer, I decided to call it. Time to take myself out so I don’t get injured worse.

Tricia and I before the race

Then the fun began, I watched all these runners pass by us and all I wanted to do was start up again, but I knew I shouldn’t. I was so ready to cry, I never give up on things like this. My emotions were all over the place, I was mad at myself and disappointed at the same time. I had to keep telling myself that it was ok and I made the right decision. The med tent put us on a bus, we were at mile 2.6, and we come to find out that the bus is following the end of the race, so we got off and headed back to the race start. It was me and 3 other people. As we got to mile 2, I spotted a police car and asked the officer for a ride. This was my first trip ever in a police car, he took us all back to right near the finish line. We walked back, then snuck into the finish chute to get water and snacks. I got my medal, but there was no way that I would wear it. It will hang with all the others as a reminder that you must listen to your body and do what’s right. I should have pulled myself out last weekend at The Biggest Loser race but I didn’t.

So now I have 3 weeks until my next scheduled race. I am seeing my chiropractor 3 times a week for the next few months so hopefully that helps. Going to try to do small 2 mile training runs later this week, just to get my body back to running. I’ll stop if I feel pain, but I need to do something otherwise mentally I am going to feel more defeated than I do.